Just for you, Sam!

It's a while since that eventful Saturday night which I had intended to blog about but I'll give you a brief recap anyway. It was the weekend that my friend Lisa came to visit. I met Lisa whilst on holiday with my family in Portugal aged 11. We parted at the end of the week promising to write to each other when we got home. And we actually did it. 14 years later and we're still in touch, mostly by Facebook these days but there's an occasional letter and a Christmas card in there too, and we met up again for the first time since Portugal in March of this year. As if that wasn't enough, she came back to Paris in November so now I can say that I see her more than I see some members of my family! Anyway, we had arranged to meet outside the FNAC at Bastille and I arrived slightly early. I was standing minding my own business when a man came up to me and starting speaking in extremely rapid French. This happens regularly (being approached by random strangers) and each time I try a different tactic to get rid of them. What follows is an approximate transcript of my conversation with this man...

Him: mdjkfndkfjnfkjenfkjbdakjbdwakbkwdbhbfrhsdk (actually French but I didn't understand anything because he spoke so fast)
Me: Sorry, I don't speak French.
Him: Oh. cfndjkfnewkibkfjbdkdjbaskajbfkbfkehfde....
Me: I'm sorry, I don't understand you. I'm English.
Him: Ah, Engleeesh. I am speakin ze engleesh. I want to no, do you 'av cat?
Me:No, I don't have a cat.
Him:And I ask you, are you ever loving your cat? are you in love wiz your cat?
Me:No, I don't have a cat and I've never been in love with a cat. I don't even like cats very much.
Him:So you are not wanting to buy my book, i sell a book about a woman who is in love wiz 'er cat.
Me: No, thank you.
Him:Sank you, no problem, 'ave a very good night.

And then he moved on to the next person. Hope his sales technique was better in French than in English!
That was crazy man number one. The other one was in the bar and isn't even worth talking about. We had a nice evening despite him.